An affirmation is an empowering statement that is repeated to shift your mindset, raise your vibration, or reinforce an intention. The idea of affirmations and retraining the brain has roots in various ancient traditions, but in Western modern society a few people stand out. Émile Coué (1857-1962), known as the “Father of Modern Affirmations”. He is known for the famous affirmation, “Every day, in every way, I’m getting better and better.” He believed the idea that autosuggestion (repeating positive phrases) could influence your unconscious and improve your health and behavior. William James (1842-1910) is considered the “Father of American Psychology”. He didn’t focus specifically on affirmations but believed the power of belief and habit in shaping personal outcomes. He is known for saying, “The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind”. Louise Hay (1926-2017) popularized affirmations in the 1980s for healing and self-love.
I highly recommend Louise Hay’s book, You Can Heal Your Life. In her book she advises that affirmations should be stated in the present tense, as if they are already happening. Louise believed self-love is the foundation for emotional healing, physical well-being, and spiritual connection. One of her core affirmations was, “I love and approve of myself”. Louise recommended repeating this affirmation frequently and consistently, a dozen times a day or even hundreds of times a day. She also advised to say it out loud, write it down, or say it in a mirror. She believed that even if it feels uncomfortable or untrue at first, persistent repetition breaks through old beliefs and reprograms the subconscious.
I incorporate affirmations into my day, especially when I am feeling down. If a thought, person, place, event, celebration or holiday triggers a longing or sadness for Henry I have a process I go through. I allow the feeling, I breathe through it - releasing it, I bring my awareness back to the present moment, and finish with an affirmation. For me it is normally, “I am ok”, “I am with Henry”, “I love Henry” or “I am grateful for Henry”. Each time I speak out loud an affirmation I feel it. If I can’t feel it, I imagine a moment when I felt ok, love, or gratitude, and bring up that feeling so I can apply it to the affirmation. The affirmation can shift my vibration from a lower vibe to a higher vibe. If the affirmation does not shift my emotional state of being I start journaling. I write down what I am feeling and why. I do this to gain insights into what I am holding on to and need to release.
I also use affirmations throughout the day regardless of my emotional state. This is why we created the Heavenly Affirmation cards. These affirmations were created from my journaling sessions with Henry and include insights he gave me. I use these cards to help me set my intention for the day. I also use them for guidance. I often ask to be guided to a card that is just right for my highest and greatest good. They also help me to feel connected to Henry. They are a gentle daily reminder to live my best life.
Although I use affirmations, I never realized how repetition can break through old beliefs and reprogram my subconscious until I read Louise Hay’s book. Interestingly I was reading her book at the same time I was reading Dr. Joe Dispenza’s book, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself. His book is about freeing yourself from habitual thoughts, emotional patterns, and automatic responses, resulting from deep rooted trauma or long-standing conditioning.
Dr. Dispenza explains that stress chemicals can become ingrained in the body’s emotional memory. When someone recalls or relives a past traumatic experience, triggered by a thought or event, the brain signals the body to release the same chemicals as if the event were happening again. It becomes a chemical response to past traumatic life events, but in the present. It causes the body to stay stuck in a cycle of chemical responses, reinforcing the emotional state tied to the past. These chemical responses are mainly stress hormones, particularly cortisol, adrenaline, and norepinephrine. These hormones are released in response to stress and play a key role in the fight or flight response, activating the sympathetic nervous system.
Stress hormones are chemicals released by the body in response to stress. The main stress hormones include Cortisol - known as the “primary stress hormone”, released by the adrenal glands, controls the sleep-wake cycle, and boosts energy in response to stress, Adrenaline (Epinephrine) - increases blood pressure, heart rate, and energy supplies, Norepinephrine (noradrenaline) - heightens alertness and raises heart rate and blood pressure.
Dr. Dispenza emphasizes how repeated exposure to these chemicals can condition the body to live in the past, effectively making emotions like fear, anger, or anxiety part of someone’s personality. A big part of his work is teaching people to break this cycle through mindfulness, meditation, and mental rehearsal - rewiring the brain and regulating the body’s chemical responses.
Dr. Dispenza explains how our body memorizes past events, “You have an experience, which has an emotional charge. Then you have a thought about that particular past event. The thought becomes a memory, which then reflexively reproduces the emotion of the experience. If you keep thinking about that memory repeatedly, the thought, the memory, and the emotion merge as one, and you “memorize” the emotions. Now living in the past becomes less of a conscious process and more of a subconscious one.”
He recommends meditation to open the door to the subconscious. In his book he explains how to unmemorize an emotion through meditation. I have been working on this for about a month now and always make sure to add in an affirmation.
I also believe affirmations can be used to honor someone especially on an anniversary, birthday, special occasion, or holiday. They can be used to change the momentum of the day especially if the day is tied to a loved one that has passed. I use affirmations on all those difficult days with Henry. More recently The Ohio State University graduation. The class that Henry should have been a part of just graduated. I didn’t even know it was this past weekend until a friend of his reached out to me. I was so blindsided. It was like a sledgehammer to my heart. All the emotions exploded in me, sorrow, sadness, regret, resentment, anger, and self-pity. It was a painful day and brought me to a place I thought would take days to dig out of. Unfortunately, this all happened … yesterday. Fortunately, I gave myself some grace and time to process all the emotions. I also continued with my affirmations and believe it or not I feel better today. I started out my day with some affirmations and then felt nudged to write this month's message. The writing helps me, and I’ll need it with Mother’s Day coming ... tomorrow.
Mother’s Day and Father’s Day can be a day of celebration for some and sadness for others. It can bring up a mix of emotions for those who have a mother, a mother figure, a spouse, or a child in Heaven. The same will occur next month for Father’s Day. My Mother’s Day Affirmations will be, “I love and am thankful for my mom”, “I am grateful to be Ellie and Henry’s mom”, “I am grateful they chose me to be their mom in this lifetime”, “I am grateful for Ellie and Henry”, “I love Ellie and Henry”, “I love myself”, “I love and accept myself for being the best mother I could be”, and “Henry will be with me on Mother’s Day”.
We must always remember our loved ones in Heaven are ALWAYS with us. As a little reminder, Henry planned a special gift just for me. I met with an amazing friend a couple days ago. The timing was unusual because it was sooner than normal and just happened to be a few days before Mother’s Day. It’s unbelievable how so many things that happen in our lives, unbeknownst to us, are Divinely orchestrated. I met her at our usual place for a chai latte and sat outside in the beautiful warm weather. Part way through our time together a waitress noticed the beautiful pink hydrangea on the ground next to us. At which point my friend explained to me that they were for me from Henry for Mother’s Day. I could't believe it. She proceeded to explain how she was nudged by Henry to buy me flowers for Mother’s Day. My friend is a beautiful soul and an intuitive. She said she had planned on buying a blue hydrangea because she thought blue was my favorite color. But she kept feeling from Henry that it had to be pink. Little did she know that pink is actually my favorite color. I just started wearing blue, sky blue, because that is Henry’s favorite color and wearing it makes me feel closer to him. She went on to explain how although she was being nudged to buy pink, she kept thinking she would buy blue, not trusting pink is what Henry really wanted. It wasn’t until she drove up to the shop and there on display were lots and lots of hydrangeas and every one was … pink! There wasn’t a blue one to be found. She said Henry wanted it to be pink and made sure of it. I can’t tell you how happy that made me! My boy is a wonder, he still surprises me and finds ways to let me know that he is STILL with me.
We are sending you lots of love this Mother’s Day, may you find an affirmation that is just right for you.
